Dream of All the Possibilities!

The idea of knowing that I found my birth mother and siblings is finally becoming a regular everyday thought for me. I have an amazing family in Canada, but I always wanted to know what really happened. I used to make up stories in my head as to who they could be. For example I would wonder if they were magical gipsies who travelled the land, singing and dancing. Not the bad references of Gipsies that most Europeans know today. Then I would imagine, what if I were Romanian royalty?! For my 25th birthday I would have to come back and take my place on the throne… I wondered if I could be a direct descendant of Vlad Dracula… Or I would pretend like I had a twin sister in Poland, and I imagine my parents dying in a heroic battle. Instead I got my own version of a fairytale happy ending.

It is so interesting for me to think, what if I had stayed in Romania? Things would of been very difficult and I would not be able to experience this magical moment. I would of had to see my mother go through so much and I wouldn’t be able to do anything to help. At least being an adult I can offer to help and provide a little more comfort to her and my siblings.

It is hard to think that I was taken from her, but it is comforting to know that we will be together again soon. I have had many trips to the councillor throughout my young life to help cope with the loss of my birth parents, and understanding that I will need to come to terms with never knowing the truth. I almost came to terms with it all but it felt forced. Something was telling me not to give up on finding my answers.

Many times I cried and made up stories to cover up the fact I was crying because I wanted to find my birth family. I love my mom Pat and father Bruce very much. I did not want to hurt them with my questions. They did so much to help sooth this sadness. They understood that I would always want to know the truth, and they felt bad that they didn’t have any answers to give.

It was difficult growing up with this always on my mind. It was almost like every time I met someone new I would introduce myself as Anna, the girl adopted from Romania. I gave myself this title from a very young age because being Romanian was always a huge part of me. Most people who know me find out I am adopted from Romania quite quickly because I find it to be one of the most interesting parts about myself. As I said in one of my earlier pieces, I liked to dignify myself as the Romanian girl… But because I embraced it a little too much other kids would target it as my weak point. What other kids thought and what I thought were very different. I was the weird kid, even though I thought it would make me the cool kid because I was not born in Regina, SK like the rest of them. The hurtful words would run through my head and sting like small stab wounds. Luckily, now I know what they said back then really does not make any sense, since my birth mom does love me. The scars have faded enough that you can barely see them.

This whole experience has given me new hope on life and I can not wait to make the next step!



Myself in the polka-dot dress standing next to my best bud Lindsay.



my best friend Lindsay and I


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