Mothers & Daughters

I am my mothers’ daughter. From my mom Pat, I get my creative inspiration. Her job, working in a theatre, gave me the creative spark at such a young age. Dancing across the large stage as a small child and pretending like the seats were filled with people there to see me. This was my first feeling of wanting to be in theatre. I was always trying to entertain people from a small age. My mother Pat gave me so many opportunities which made the creative person I am today. Her belief in me and undying love allows me to shoot for the stars. She gave me experience in life.

The day I arrived in Canada was a very emotional and exciting time in my mother, Pat’s life. Now that I look back I know the feeling was mutual.

I find it interesting the more I learn about my birth mother, Cocuta. We are very much alike. Although we are millions of miles away, and without knowing each other, we have experienced the same heart aches in life. One major one was being separated from each other. It was hard for me feeling abandoned. Yes I have a great family in Canada but it never got rid of the feeling of abandonment. My mother lossed me… She was told I was dead, and it broke her heart.

Her and I don’t have the best taste in men. I too have experienced the on and off again relations which were really painful. It is not a fun cycle but I am happy my mother found happiness in herself and her children. I’ve lived and learned from my mistakes and it is something that can not be rushed. It will happen when its meant to happen.

Then there are things like our love to cook and garden. She makes cabbage rolls and I LOVE to eat cabbage rolls!

We both are wise in the sense that we both enjoy the sentimental things rather than large materialistic things. Having a loving family, food, and shelter are most important things to us. Money does not buy you true happiness.

I was brought up by my parents Pat and Bruce who have a good heart. I take after them in the sense I care for people without expecting things in return. This is how I know my birth mother is so grateful for my parents here in Canada. They raised me right, and how she would of liked to raise me. She is proud of me. Although she questioned if I were really dead, she was always proud of giving birth to me. I feel so grateful to have such great people looking out for me.

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Get Ready For the Culture, Food, Drinks & More!

My name, Andréea, comes from the Romanian Orthodox Church, Saint Andrew. My mother chose it because I was born in November which is the same month as St. Andrew’s Day, on November 30. It is very common to be named after Saints in the Romanian Orthodox Religion. My sister Mariana was named after Saint Maria which is celebrated today, September 8. It is considered like a birthday. If it is the day of a Saint and a person is named after a Saint It is common to wish the person Happy Birthday, “La multi ani, mai frumoasa sora Maria!”  My biological family is Romanian Orthodox but I was baptized by the United Church of Canada, which is the largest Protestant Christian Denomination in Canada. We all agree we come from the same “God”.

Come November, when I go to Romania I will be sharing all the different aspects of the Romanian culture. From the food, the drinks, the tourist attractions, the religious historical influence, the music and the cultural dance. I will share my journey on meeting my biological family, while describing my integration into the Romanian culture. I will always be a Canadian at heart but for a little while I would like to get to know the Romanian side. Which I know is reasonable.

I am told it is a great place to visit but not to live. It is a shame, considering it looks like it would be such a beautiful place to live. My mother grows a garden, and makes plum jam and vodka. She likes to cook a lot of different foods like cabbage rolls, pies and cakes. She makes wine when the grapes are ripe, and tends to her chickens and her goats. It all sounds magical if she were in Canada, but unfortunately she works hard to survive. She sells items like the jam, wine and vodka on the side for extra money. She is unable to work because she takes care of my sister Petronela who is not well… Neither is my mother but she gets by. The government in Romania does not help people like my mother who is taking care of their sick child. It is different in most places in Europe but Romanians are not very good to each other. It is a great place to visit if you are not from there. You will be treated very good by the locals but it is a tough life they live. 

After 25 years you would think things would get better, but things have only gotten worst for the Romanian people. You need money to be treated with respect in Romania and this goes as far as a simple trip to the doctor. Health Care is free in Romania but if you do not have money to pay the doctor extra they will not give you the best of treatment. Everyone is looking out for themselves. My birth mother and siblings are not like most Romanians. They are kind and gentle people who open their heart to most people. They grew up poor and had nothing but love to give, but for other Romanians it is never enough. Everybody turns a blind eye instead of realizing this is what is happening in their own country. Innocent families left on the streets. Many times my birth mother went without food just so my siblings could eat. Many times she was turned away when asking for help. I appreciate my life in Canada a whole lot more because even the images are too painful…

I hope to understand more once I get to Romania. I really do appreciate the life I was given. It makes me believe I was meant to be taken out of that situation for a period of time and be given a good life. Then eventually we would be reunited. Hopefully I can help make a difference in all of their lives. I am determined to make things easier for my birth mother because she needs a break. She has never had a break in her life and I took a lot of things for granted in mine. I am excited to meet her in person. I know I will learn so much from her during my visit.

He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses much more; He who loses faith, loses all.
Eleanor Roosevelt

 

Ancestry

I find ancestry to be so interesting. Now that I know my own family history I find it a lot more fun to join in on the conversations about our ancestors. Now the conversation goes beyond me saying “it starts and ends with me being Romanian.” I have family all over Romania, Moldova and now my sisters have moved to Ireland and have started the Irish trend! If I understood correctly my mother and her siblings were raised in the northern part of Romania, not too far from the Ukrainian border. It explains her beautiful green eyes.

My Canadian family has been the only ancestry history I have ever known. With the inspiration of the Beanland side looking into their history it began my quest to find my own answers. On my mom, Pat’s side her father is Irish and her mother is Scottish. Her mother’s maiden name is McNichols and her father’s side is McLaughlin. On my father, Bruce’s side both of his parents are English. His mother’s maiden name is Nicholson and his father’s name is Beanland. On both sides of my family my great grandparents came over to canada and then my Grandparents were born. My mother was born in Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada and my father was born in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. My parents met in Toronto, Ontario, Canada and moved to Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada where my older sister was born and we were both raised.

Most recently, on my dad’s side of the family, we found out that my great aunt Helen’s parents were born in Romania, and only a couple hours from where my biological mother and her family came from.

I find ancestry to be such a fascinating topic. To learn where everyone originated and how they got to where they are today. If you have not had this experience I highly recommend learning about where you came from. I promise it is an interesting journey.

We all originated in one part of the world. Now, we are so diverse that we all forget we were once the same. Everyone is bias when it comes to their own culture when reality is we all come from the same place. If only everyone understood this like I do. We wouldn’t have such a fight to fend for ourselves.

We should be more open with sharing our histories and how we got to where we are today. I myself originated in Romania but I am now Canadian. I have brought my family’s history to Canada to start this new link. My Romanian family is now expanding outside of Romania and I look forward to seeing where we go from here.

I highly recommend to all of you to find out where you came from. It gives you a bit more appreciation for life and how you got to where you are.

Emotions Replay Right Round…

The moment I found my birth mother replays in my mind over and over again. I could not sleep for the first 24hrs because I was in so much shock and I was overwhelmed. My body was flooding with adrenalin and I felt wired. Even throughout the first week I could barely sleep because I was just so excited. I felt like I only wanted to sleep for a couple hours because I wanted to keep talking to them. It took until the 2nd week for me to regain a healthy sleep pattern again.

The anticipation leading up to her response was a difficult journey too. I knew it had to be her. I told two of my friends I felt this had to be her and I showed them the photos. They agreed. There were obvious similarities. I saw her photo first. Holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Couldn’t be more fitting. Her face shape, her teeth, her lips, her brow shape, and her skin matched mine. Then I saw a photo of my younger brother Florin, and I saw my smile and brow shape. I went through a few photos noticing more and more similarities. I knew it had to be her. It was almost as though I recognized her from when I was last with her.

When I broke the news to everyone, the overwhelming amount of shock and happiness rang out. There has been the occasional person who has said something like, “you should be happy with your adoptive family and thats that.” Honestly those people are ignorant. You do not understand what it is like being adopted. I know digging up the past is not something that you can just do! It does take mental preparedness and understanding. Understanding that sometimes it doesn’t work out in your favour. I understand that in Romania most cases do not turn out like mine. These fears have held me back from going to Romania and finding answers. It took a lot of mental preparing to go through with finding my answers.

I don’t know why I am so blessed to have such a kind and wonderful birth mom and siblings who are being so welcoming. Either way I decided to go with the flow and I am overjoyed. I have a new appreciation for life and my Canadian Family. I have four new best friends and another mother to tell me to go see the doctor when I am sick. I do love all of my parents and siblings equally regardless what other people may wonder.

My plane ticket to Dublin Ireland is booked and people have been notified. The excitement now builds for October 24 2014. I leave Pearson International Airport in Toronto Ontario, early in the morning on Oct 24. I arrive in St John’s NL at around noon local time and depart for Dublin at 11:15pm. I arrive in Dublin Ireland on October 25 2014. It will be the day I am finally reunited with my sisters.

I imagine the first few moments with my sisters to be very emotional. I am imagining the bystander’s look of confusion as they see a mass pile of human beings piled on top of each other. This moment can’t come any quicker. I hope we can record the moment we all meet on video. It would be nice to share this moment with so many. Thank you all for your continued support!

I will have so many more stories to tell in just a short while from now!

Stay tuned!

Dream of All the Possibilities!

The idea of knowing that I found my birth mother and siblings is finally becoming a regular everyday thought for me. I have an amazing family in Canada, but I always wanted to know what really happened. I used to make up stories in my head as to who they could be. For example I would wonder if they were magical gipsies who travelled the land, singing and dancing. Not the bad references of Gipsies that most Europeans know today. Then I would imagine, what if I were Romanian royalty?! For my 25th birthday I would have to come back and take my place on the throne… I wondered if I could be a direct descendant of Vlad Dracula… Or I would pretend like I had a twin sister in Poland, and I imagine my parents dying in a heroic battle. Instead I got my own version of a fairytale happy ending.

It is so interesting for me to think, what if I had stayed in Romania? Things would of been very difficult and I would not be able to experience this magical moment. I would of had to see my mother go through so much and I wouldn’t be able to do anything to help. At least being an adult I can offer to help and provide a little more comfort to her and my siblings.

It is hard to think that I was taken from her, but it is comforting to know that we will be together again soon. I have had many trips to the councillor throughout my young life to help cope with the loss of my birth parents, and understanding that I will need to come to terms with never knowing the truth. I almost came to terms with it all but it felt forced. Something was telling me not to give up on finding my answers.

Many times I cried and made up stories to cover up the fact I was crying because I wanted to find my birth family. I love my mom Pat and father Bruce very much. I did not want to hurt them with my questions. They did so much to help sooth this sadness. They understood that I would always want to know the truth, and they felt bad that they didn’t have any answers to give.

It was difficult growing up with this always on my mind. It was almost like every time I met someone new I would introduce myself as Anna, the girl adopted from Romania. I gave myself this title from a very young age because being Romanian was always a huge part of me. Most people who know me find out I am adopted from Romania quite quickly because I find it to be one of the most interesting parts about myself. As I said in one of my earlier pieces, I liked to dignify myself as the Romanian girl… But because I embraced it a little too much other kids would target it as my weak point. What other kids thought and what I thought were very different. I was the weird kid, even though I thought it would make me the cool kid because I was not born in Regina, SK like the rest of them. The hurtful words would run through my head and sting like small stab wounds. Luckily, now I know what they said back then really does not make any sense, since my birth mom does love me. The scars have faded enough that you can barely see them.

This whole experience has given me new hope on life and I can not wait to make the next step!

http://www.gofundme.com/RomanianAdoptionStory

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Myself in the polka-dot dress standing next to my best bud Lindsay.

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my best friend Lindsay and I

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Random Update

I wonder what Ireland is like in October? I am looking at flights for an earlier date and playing with the idea of going sooner. The anticipation kills! It has been 25 years since my sisters have seen me, and 25 years since I was with my mother. It would be an even better birthday present for myself to see my birth mother again in November. It is finally the right time to go to Romania, and January seems too long of a wait.

Everyday I wake up overjoyed because it won’t be too much longer until I’ll get to see them. I can just feel it. I can not wait to report about the first meet, but also the sites, the food and the local music in Ireland and Romania. I hope to see as many castles as possible while in both countries and stand where historical greats have stood. I may fall in love with Europe and not make it back!

This is the perfect boost to get me to go over to Europe.

I am hoping to get my dual citizenship arranged while in Romania. My Romanian citizenship will grant me access to work all over Europe. This will help me see as many places as I want for longer periods of time because I could take on part time jobs around the continent.

I’ve learned so many new things about my biological family that I am sure I will have a lot more to blog about soon. I look forward to the loads of people I will meet on my up and coming journey. Hopefully from every country so I can be sure to visit them and have excellent adventurous stories to tell! I will be sure to keep you updated!

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Like a Domino

       This year has been a perfect example of the dominoes effect. Things lined up so perfectly this year, and It has been a very weird journey so far that it makes me question if there is something bigger than us out there?

It all started in January… I was questioning if I was in the right direction with my life? Am I ready for security and to settle down? I had an excellent job with great people surrounding me, but I felt like I needed to adventure out into the world. My experience in Thailand opened my eyes to true happiness. Seeing the Thai people interact with each other and wishing the western society would act this way… They are a very helpful and kind group of people that I have never experienced before. They showed me that things come and go. Things happen for a reason, and it is best to not stress about the little things. You can fix almost everything but death. You can’t fix dead. 

I sat with stacks of paper that had information about every college program offered in SK. I couldn’t find anything that interested me. Then I had an incident at work which proceeded until April. I kindly parted ways and I took this as the perfect opportunity to move to Toronto. I packed my bags and moved May 30 2014, where my excellent family in Ontario welcomed me with open arms. I hope to repay them for their kind hospitality one day. It has been a struggle to find a job but I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Throughout this whole experience I never stopped writing. I have written one screenplay, one episode of my tv show and many other short stories. Then this entire life changing event took place and changed my plan for next year…

2014 will be the year I cherish forever.

I mentioned in my first piece that I never went back to Romania because I did not feel the time was right. In 2010, Something inside told me 2014 is the year I will go back. There is something about this year that felt like it will finally be the right year. I will be turning 25 in November, and it will be a perfect time to go. No way in my mind did I imagine finding my biological family in 2014. I toy with the idea of going to Ireland in October instead, because I don’t want to be separated any longer. But, there are so many materialistic items that hold me back. Real life kicks in, and realize I have bills I need to keep paying. Also, not having my dual citizenship, or a work visa lined up to stay in Ireland for a while after Romania doesn’t help. I wish this wouldn’t keep us apart any longer. But I hope the next couple months fly by.

I enjoy waking up everyday and saying hello to my mom Pat and my mom Cocuta. Then all the love I get from all of my siblings is overwhelming.  So many years they waited to have me back in their lives. So many years I wondered if I looked like anyone out there. So many years we questioned if we were all live or not… 25 years is a long time to go with this worry and sadness. I look forward to the first evening in Ireland. I hope for a big sleep over with all of my sisters and I in a big bed. I imagine making a giant pillow fort with all of my nieces, nephews and sisters! I imagine what they would be like in real life… Are they like me? So far I am finding a lot of resemblances such as a big heart and a bit of a goofy sense of humor. I don’t want to wait any longer to find out more… The anticipation is like nothing I have ever experienced…. I will miss my Canadian family terribly, but this is the nice thing about technology, we will never lose contact. 

I need to spend this time to find myself and learn my culture. It has always been a dream of mine to find them, and the reunion turn out well… It is an overwhelming sense of needing to be with them for a while. I can’t wait.

http://www.gofundme.com/RomanianAdoptionStory

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Thanks for the support!

 

 

Journey through life. Travelling the world.