You Learn Something New Everyday

As each day goes by I learn something new about my biological family. The more I learn the more respect and admiration I have for my birth mom and family. She went through a really difficult relationship with my father, where she spent most of the time running from him. She is an incredible woman because of her strength and survival skills. She made sure the five children she had with her were always fed before herself… When she found Petronela in the hospital for the disabled she brought her back home to take care of her. She gave up everything to take care of Petronela. To this day she puts her children first, and never stopped loving each of us.

This is usually not a characteristic of a Romanian person, but my mother is different. She is a generous and kind hearted person. I am blessed that she has accepted me back into her life. For her it was without question… She has passed the strong and caring genes onto all of her children. It goes along really well with the family I was given here in Canada.

My heart sinks for her, knowing what she went through. That someone would hurt such a gentle and wise soul. I wish I could take all of this pain away from her… But I can not. What I can do is ensure she has an amazing future with me in it. I know how happy she is to have me in her life again. She deserves so much for what she went through, but she is a humble person who won’t take anything in return for her kind gestures. I feel that something bigger than our being brought us back together, because how else could of this happen? They must know how much we wished for this reunion. What are the odds that I would find her on Facebook, with a misspelled name. I feel grateful for it.

My biological father was a bad man. The man on my birth certificate is not my biological father, and I am quite ok with NOT knowing who my father is…. I have one amazing dad here in Canada and that is all I need. I have two amazing mothers and I am blessed twice.

Everyday the pieces come together… My mother visited me in the hospital in Deta a few times before her last visit. When she went back the final time to bring me home she was told I was gone –dead. Along with my other siblings…. The government is very corrupt in Romania, and I can not imagine why they would do this to any person.

There is a lot I have taken in, both good and bad. Either way it does not change my views on my biological family or the life I was given. I only see strong, kind hearted and generous people, who have worked hard to survive. They work together to keep each other alive and well, which is the perfect definition of a strong family. Everyone looks out for each other. I am blessed to call them a part of my family. In this small period of time they have taught me to appreciate everything I was given in life to the fullest. My life was very different from my siblings… Sometimes I get sad thinking about the times I couldn’t sleep at night, meanwhile, for that night they were sleeping on the street… They opened my eyes to how lucky I am to be where I am today. I am so thankful for this opportunity because I have a new outlook on life and a new appreciation.

With the questions answered and hearing the stories of strife I hope to give back to each of them one day. I am so thankful they are happy in Ireland and parts of Romania, and out of this terrible situation. With every family there are still things that pop up every now and then, but things are not as bad as they have been in the past. They are the strongest they have ever been, and with each other’s support they manage.

I hope to tell our humbling story over course the of time.

http://www.gofundme.com/RomanianAdoptionStory

My beautiful birth mother Cocuta.

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Releasing the Emotions From My Childhood

Aug 31 2014

                         Being adopted is a difficult but beautiful journey in life. I must pre-warn readers that this submission may be a little graphic. I reveal emotions about what it was like growing up as a child adopted from Romania. I tried to balance the sad with the happy in this post so I hope I don’t upset too many people. Some people may be able to relate due to their own adoption stories and some may not. For those who don’t, please keep an open mind to what I have to say. It was an emotional journey full of ups and downs as a child well into my early adult life. I am very grateful for the life I was given but sometimes you just can’t fake the emotions no matter how hard you try.

I always questioned where I came from and held on to the fact I was born in Romania. I am a proud Romanian-Canadian. I was given everything in life that I could possibly ask for. My parents Pat and Bruce are amazing people who love me. I brought so much joy to them the day I arrived home from Romania. We have the moment I arrived in Regina, SK on film, and based off of the tears of happiness my mom was overjoyed when she held me in her arms for the first time.  My dad, Bruce and I arrived six days prior to my first birthday on November 10, 1990 in Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada. This is where I met my mother, Pat and my sister, Tracy and remained around Regina, SK for 24 years of my life.

I am surrounded by love and support by all of my family in Canada but there was a piece of me that just felt like I was alone. I was told that my birth parents were most likely dead because of the Romanian Revolution in 1989. I did not want to believe this to be true so I held onto my Romanian nationality tightly. My Canadian family has always meant the world to me because family is there no matter what the situation and they have shown me this. They support me fully in my quest to meet my biological family and it takes a certain type of person to be ok with this. They are all extraordinary people and I am so lucky to have the same traits from both families.

I was a temperamental child with loud emotions. There were many times I would come home crying from the park because someone targeted the fact I am adopted. They would say things like “Go back to Romania where you belong.” “You’re weird because you’re adopted.” “Your birth mother never loved you, so she gave you up.” And more than once I was called a “vampire”. I was out casted by some children in my small town and it made it difficult to accept that I was adopted. I was proud of my adoption and being different but other kids did not see it the same way. Luckily at the end of the day I had my loving mother Pat to hold me tight and dry my tears. I knew those words couldn’t be true, “My birth mother didn’t love me.” I just didn’t want to believe it. I never gave up hope and as I later learned, neither did she. I find it funny to look back on those comments and now get to say, “listen buddy, she does love me!” It is a joyous feeling.

There were a lot of moments I felt disconnected from my loving family and I always felt like I did not belong. There were moments where I felt like an outsider looking in. It was not my family’s intention nor was this feeling in their control. It was out of everyone’s control including my own. Only thing that could heal it was knowing the truth about what happened in Romania.

After meeting my biological family, I feel a true appreciation for what my adoptive parents went through. Yes, I always loved my adoptive family but I was young and did not understand the struggles they went through trying to keep me happy. Now I really understand what they went through. Not until now do I understand the joy I brought to their lives and the times I may of taken advantage of the things they had to offer. In the end it didn’t matter because my mom, Pat, my dad, Bruce, and my sister, Tracy had endless love and support for me. I am so blessed to have been given the life I was given.

I do not wish for my past to be any different. I am just thankful I didn’t have to wait any longer to find my biological family and I get to be a part of their lives today. I now feel the love that was given to me throughout the years and I understand the struggles my adoptive parents had to face. I feel sorry for the stress but I know my family loves me no matter what. I cannot describe the feeling of the new admiration for my Canadian family. Allowing me to come into their lives and sharing their love with me. Making sure I was safe, had a roof over my head, food to eat and a happy life. They gave me what my birth mother wanted for me in life. I am just so happy I get to share my adult life and the next chapter with my Romanian family along with my Canadian family.

I look forward to my next journey in life and I feel ready to move on. I finally feel like a whole person and the void is gone. I am appreciative of every loving gesture from all my friends and family over the years. I feel so excited to share my story with everyone and I hope I touch so many people with this inspirational tale!

The Aftershock

It took me four days before the shock wore off. I laid in bed, imagining the moment the doors open and I see my sisters’ and their families standing there. The tears began to flow. The real emotions came when I imagined stepping out of the car and seeing my mom standing on the curb tearing up. Standing next to my sister Petronela, and my brother Florin. It was the emotional release that I needed after this long emotional week.

It is now coming up on two weeks since I found my mother through Facebook. Years of searching, and years of questioning finally comes to an end because of Facebook. I told my father, Bruce, ” It is 2014. There has to be something out there about my family. A death certificate or something. The technology is a lot better”. After this conversation I started searching on Aug 8 2014. About a year after my last attempt. It only took me 10 days to find her. I told myself I would do anything to find out this time and I found her within a short period of time. Sounds so easy…

To meet my sisters and brother over Skype and Facebook, after all these years has been an exceptional journey. I feel so close to everyone already. I know when we are together we will be inseparable.

I am so thankful for the life I was given in Canada and this event adds to how thankful I am. I am happy that both families are merging and can accept each other. It was hard for my birth mother to learn the news that I was dead but she never gave up hope on me. They say a mother knows…. I say a baby knows too! I knew that this had to be her. I have her teeth, I have a bit of her face shape, I have her nose and brow shape. I share my hands and arms with my sisters. Along with my brown eyes, brown hair and olive skin. I share my smile with my brother Florin. There are so many similarities between us all that I never imagined possible.

I am so excited to share this journey with all of you. I am grateful for my life in Canada but I look forward to my life with both sides.

Me on the left and Maria on the right!

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HERE IS MY STORY

A sick child during a war is not unusual. What might be more unusual is to have three children hospitalized, informed they had all died and eleven years later finding one child in a hospital for the disabled. What is even more unusual is twenty-five years later to hear from another of these children. The child my mother heard from was me. This is how it all came about:

I grew up as a child in the small town of Qu’Appelle, Sk after being adopted from a Romanian Orphanage at the age of 1 years, by my parents Pat and Bruce Beanland. I was named Andreea Buzatu, my name is now Andrea Beanland but most people call me Anna. I was a happy child with a loving family, a mother, father and one sister. I was also surrounded by many other family members and friends in this small town. I’ve known that I was adopted as long as I can remember. Every year we attended the Romanian Reunion in Regina, SK where I met many other children who were adopted from Romania. Some knew their stories, some visited their families’, and some didn’t. I was one who didn’t really know what happened until now.
Every now and then I tried to research online anything about my biological family. Unfortunately nothing would come up. Most recently I felt a need to try again. There was a part of me that needed to know the truth, so I figured I would do whatever it takes to find them this time. I was under the impression I had a mother, a father and a brother who was three years older than me. At the time in Romania the revolutionary war had broken out in Timisoara and the living conditions were not good. Timisoara, Romania is an hour by car north of where I was born and thirty minutes by car to where I was in the hospital. There are no records of my brother at the hospital so we figured my parents came back for him.
Many times I had the opportunity to go to Romania and see where I came from, but I didn’t go. First time was when I was twelve. I had seen a WH5 episode about a young girl from Regina, SK who went over to meet her biological family. The family was not so welcoming to her arrival. I feared that I would experience this so I put off the trip. The next was when I was sixteen but I still didn’t feel like the time was right. Then again when I was eighteen my parents offered me the opportunity for my high school graduation present. I didn’t feel the time was right.
The most recent quest began on August 8 2014. I made a small profile on the social media site “Facebook”. My tactic was to post my story in Romanian and in English in various Romanian Adoption groups. I was under the impression I was born in Jamu Mare, Romania in November of 1989. Then a month later I was dropped at the hospital in Deta, Romania with a brother who is three years older than me. Working with the incorrect spelling of my birth mother’s first name slowed me down, however that was quickly corrected. On August 17 I typed in the new spelling “Coeuta” into Facebook and it changed the name to “Cocuta”. I opened the page and that’s when I saw her photo. My jaw dropped, my heart started to race and I lost my breath. I knew it was her.
I saw a photo of my brother on her Facebook page and I felt I had to contact her with my story. Without hesitation I sent her a message explaining who I was and where I came from. I told her that I don’t mean to disrupt their lives or to take anything from them other than to know that we are both out there.
On August 18 2014 I received a message from her. I was hesitant to read the message when I translated it however the first words I read were “Yes, I am your mother.” My stomach sank, my palms began to sweat, my heart raced and my body began to shake. The adrenalin began to rush in and I didn’t know if I wanted to cry or to throw up. I could only imagine what she must have been feeling. I was later informed she cried and called my aunt in Moldova right away. She told my aunt she had found Andreea and she was hunting for my birth certificate to prove to me that she is my birth mother. She was over joyed that I had found her. Within minutes my family history began to unravel. Almost twenty five years later and I have found my answers within these few minutes.
I am one of fourteen children. My oldest sister is is Ioana, her age is unknown. She is my half sister on my mother’s side. My oldest brother, Mihai is deceased 1998. He is my half brother on my mother’s side. My full blood siblings begin with my sister Mihaela (Age 34); older sister Mariana (Age 33); older brother Ionut (Age 32); older sister Elena ( Age 31); older sister Petronela (Age 29); older sister Teodora (Age 28). She is still missing. Older sister Nikoleta (Age 26); Myself Andreea (Age 25). Then after me there is my younger half brother Florin (Age 21) on my mother’s side. It is known my father had three children after myself but I do not have contact with them.

As per my adoption papers I was under the impression I had one brother. But the papers were wrong. I was left with one older sister, Petronela. Petronela is the daughter my birth mother and father found eleven years ago. She currently lives with my birth mother and brother in Arad, Romania. 

It is said that a Mother knows…. My birth mother didn’t give up hope. In fact she has told me that two years ago she told my brother that she believed I had to be out there. She told me she has spent many moments upset and thinking of me. She knew in her heart that I was out there and they needed to find me.
I am still in shock that I have so many people who look like me and have loved me for so long. As funny as it sounds, thank God for Facebook! I am so blessed to have such an amazing family in Canada and so excited to welcome a bunch more people into my family. My birth mom and family are so thankful for my upbringing and agree that they wouldn’t have it any other way. As much as my birth mother wishes she could of been a part of my life the entire time she is proud of how I turned out. Now we get to spend the future together. I thank my parents Pat and Bruce and my sister Tracy for giving me such an amazing life that I know my mother wanted for me. She calls them “Saints from God”.
I currently reside in Toronto, Ontario and three of my sisters, Miha, Maria and Nikole live in Bray, Ireland. The rest of my family lives in and around Arad, Romania including my mother. It is a surreal feeling to wake up every day and talk to her and my siblings. She does not speak English but most of my siblings do. We have video messaged each other so I have seen her over the computer almost every day since. The first meeting over web camera was emotional and I cannot wait until we meet in person.
Best way to describe this feeling is with the simple word overjoyed. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful family and life in Canada and so blessed to of come from such a strong and kind woman in Romania. Hopefully my next stop in life will be working hard to save my money to go visit my family.
Thank you to those who have been a strong influence in my life so far.

My plan is to leave at the end of December and stay in Ireland for two weeks to meet my sisters. Then in the middle of January I would like to go to Romania to meet my mother, and other family members. It is my mother’s birthday on January 21 so I figured it would be a nice present.

I hope to get to be in her arms again soon.

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Journey through life. Travelling the world.